Less Self Service
Appreciate, generosity and abundance
Less self service is all about realising that it is not possible to given in completely self less manner because we are operating in this physical world and we do need to have a healthy ego to function. We as humans do have the capacity to give, yet often we choose not to. We choose we engage in a hoarding behaviour rather than giving away in charity to the needy. This is an invitation for you to develop a change in perspective of how giving others is actually a source of giving yourself. Hence it is about less self rather than self less. We are so analytical in nature so it is important to give within the boundaries of what we have as we cannot pour out of an empty cup. Nevertheless we have more than we can handle. So go with the flow of giving so it becomes a gentle compulsion beyond our control .
Wants vs Needs
“While they have not got their aims, their anxiety is how to get them. When they have got them, their anxiety is lest they should lose them.”
― Confucius, The Complete Confucius
This quote by Confucius is so simple yet deep. In our habit of hoarding we are actually creating more anxieties and worries. Sometimes all we need to do is take stock of what
- We need
- What we have
- What we want
It is simple exercise which will allow us to realise that we already have is what we need. Our desires and aspirations are more based on our wants which are not necessary. So start the process of discerning between your wants and needs.
“You already own what you think you need.”
“It’s that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so ‘don’t fuss, dear; get on with it’.”
― Audrey Hepburn
Being brought in a family with South Asian background in sunny Gran Canaria, one of the values that was instilled in me was to give. Even though I am an only child I soon realised that by sharing I gained much more than keeping it all for myself. However if this has not been your programming, just try sharing what you have with others to realise the power of generosity.
During the start of the Pandemic I started experiencing the fear of others and it caused me a considerable amount of distress. I wanted to help others but I just did not know how. In particular I wanted to help those who help others as I always believe that the ripple effect expands further. I was very fortunate to come across FAST — Frontline assistance for stress and trauma and I started volunteering. This less self service empowered others as much as it Birthed me Brave. FAST is FREE, one-to-one emotional support for ALL frontline healthcare & emergency workers in the UK impacted by Covid-19. This offer of therapeutic skills, expertise, and time is for those based in the NHS, public, or private sector. The purpose is to help release stress & trauma and share highly effective, yet simple self-help tools that can be used anywhere at any time. I’ve published a inspirational podcast titled Self Less Service with Wendy Power Stoten, the founder of FAST and you can here it here https://anchor.fm/birthyourselfbrave/episodes/Series-2--Episode-3--Less-Self-Service-em7jo3
I know it might sound weird, but empathy is one of the greatest creators of energy. It’s counterintuitive because it’s selfless.
Volunteering for Fast as well as my own therapeutic coaching work, has allowed me to offer empathy with compassion. It is a beautiful circle of love and energy that is created.
“It’s when you’re acting selflessly that you are at your bravest.” Veronica Roth
Helping and empowering others helps one to release their own inner strengths and resilience that you did not know exists. Generosity is such a subtle yet powerful mechanism that changes your whole perspective and outlook in life.
“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” James Keller
Abundance of Gratitude
“Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. Everything you do comes back around.” Anonymous
When we start giving we actually start receiving. Our issue is that we want things according to our terms and conditions which is why we operative on a level of scaricty. Yet if we are able to give in abundance within our capacity and in balance, we will see the real transformation in ourself which will be reflected in others. The energy which is flows between us and the entire creation is attuned through feeling of the unity. One of the ways this unity is accessed by developing humbleness, meekness and the act of giving. That is when you can merge into the less self service and start feeling grateful for what you have. So just as we started off discerning between our wants and needs, we start realising that we already have in abundance which allows us to step into the bounty of gratitude.
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.” Cicero
Let us be inspired by acts of less service around us so we too can take a step back and see where we can give. Social connection is vital for humans to function in this earthly plane. With the pandemic it is key to reach out to those who we can help to both empower them and ourselves in the act of less self service.
Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfilment.” Tony Robbins